Hi everybody, it's me Ariel, first off I would like to say this tribe if full of wonderful people. I'm so glad to have the invite, and this rocks, glad to be a part of this tribe.

Yesterday, I had an interesting experience. This guy I know, who I see often at the Castro Country Club who's kinda an asshole, kinda sexually inappropriate, but also at times very funny and an enjoyable person to play spades with from time to time approached me and spoke to me a little bit. He argued with what my identity is, yet again, though I've explained that I'm a genderqueer lesbian. I havn't really talked to him much about being intersexed, he's kinda hard headed and most likely wouldn't understand. Another friend, who's an artist and a binary gay male does a lot of naked gay male sensual art. Particularly, muscular men between the ages of early 20's to late 30's sensual pictures. Tattoos seems to also be a theme that each person has in his sketches. He is a very good artist, and I enjoy looking at his art. Partially cause I do some of the same art, just with female bodied people, havn't yet gotten freehand down, nor "expert shading" but outlines and contours of the body comes naturally to me when drawing. Though I don't think I'm good enough to actually want to draw female bodied models, I usually just shuffle through my porn magazines, find a good picture at the moment and attempt to draw the picture. ID myself as a silver rose omnisexual lesbian, it's definitely a dual enjoyment.
Anyway, what ended up happening is I asked this fellow artist if I could see what he's done so far, and expressed my gratitude about the art piece. When the time approached around closing. The other man, who had just finished up another game of spades, walked over to me and started talking about how yummy men are and assumed I agreed with him on the matter. Of course depending on the indivisual I can have different kind of sensuality with them. Though with male bodied people I have strong limitations for many reasons. I have mislead men in the past, particularly, male binary folks. When I told him that I'm a lesbian/dyke(I do consider myself a dyke as well, more on that later) and a tomboy. He responded with
"I thought you wanted to see, girl you confuse me, first your a lesbian then your not. You confuse me, but I still love ya."
He then walked off before I could respond much, I told him I've always been a lesbian, and was going to point out to him that I was just admiring art for art. He left briskly and laughed to me jokingly. Only recently coming to terms with being intersexed and realizing that my parents and/or doctors picked me to be male sexed. Which of course never really worked as they intended to, I've only begun to accept this about me no more then three weeks ago, almost four. Regardless, the fact that I definitely fit comfortably in the femme butch tomboy catagory seems to baffle a lot of people. Especially binary gay men. It's almost like they want me to be something different. I don't especially mind the confusion, sometimes it's comfortable sometimes it's not. This particular time he was very nonchallant and has always spoken to me like he knows everything about anybody. He seems to not be able to grasp who I am and it drives him crazy, and he responds somewhat demeaning. He also makes implications to me as if he can somehow change who I am, tempt me to be straight, to be bi, to be male, to be feminine. Which is definitely uncomfortable.

Has anybody else had experiences like this?

How did you handle it?

How do you cope with the confusion that others have about us?

Hope conversations can come from this.

Hugs,

Sincerly,
Ariel Archaicflame